This week sees a mini crime report with a decent amount of blood and guts. Parents are also getting out of control guys. Last week we had a mother who went all “death by a thousand cuts” on her son and then there was the mother who slit her baby’s throat. The latter could be chalked as some form of post-partum depression but the way parents have been acting these days, I wouldn’t bet on it.

We have some more spare the rod this week and not a single child rape story I might add which is surprising. A 35-year-old mother beat her six-year-old daughter to death in the Ashanti region. This mother, Akosua Nyanta, went all brutality because her little girl had pooed herself. The news report on Starr went out of its way to state that the little girl was a bit of a handful and recalcitrant. That justifies it then.

“The child was obstinate. Whenever the mother tells her to do anything, she refuses. On Sunday evening, between 5 and 6pm the child defecated on herself and the mother asked her to clean herself and she couldn’t and so the mother started beating her. She later run to her grandmother’s house but she was brought back to be beaten again. Unfortunately, early this morning, she passed out”.

Passed out never to come back again I reckon. She died. The level of force used by this mother is not clear but if some rods had been spared a six year old girl lives. What are six year olds if not stubborn? Jeez.

Sticking with themes of poo, a 50-year-old woman has been jailed for attacking police officers with human excreta and urine at her home in the Bekwai Municipality of the Ashanti Region. The police men were reportedly detailed to arrest the brother of the woman in question who was in a bit of trouble.

Martha was not happy with the police men’s presence at her house so she decided a little poo urine concoction would ward them off. Call it a police repellent if you may. She was right all though, to be honest, poo and urine will ward of anyone. The two officers will be the butt of jokes in their unit for a good while.

Martha was charged and convicted of assault of public officers and sentenced to 12 months in prison. Whisper it but 12 months in jail for splashing poo all over the police may have been worth it for Martha.

This scanty week ends with some more buoyantly grisly stuff and we have Fulani herdsman, Mohammadu Abubakari, being arrested and detained over the murder of 70-year-old Aklika Kpodi. Abubakari, 20, reportedly ripped into his aged victim with a knife and gutted him like a fish without provocation. Bloody intestines were indeed on fleek. Fulani men are already notorious for rapes and assaults and now murder can be added to the xenophobic list.

The deceased was an old school fisherman returning home after inspecting his fishing nets in the Afram River when the suspect suddenly attacked and murdered him. Abubakari fled after the crime but was tracked to Ananekrom and seized 3 days later following a tip off. He confessed to killing the deceased during interrogation but no motive was given.

Crazy stuff but still the mark of a functioning society mind you. Question your country if mothers aren’t beating their kids to death and aged men knifed for no reason.

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