It used to be the worst thing that happened to kids in Ghana was the odd rape. Old fashioned rape from repugnant predators is how it was done in my day but now this country’s gone to the dogs. Now we subject our kids to horrendous torture and physical abuse. I feel like every week we have news on enhanced disciplinary techniques every week. I start with some developments from the two-year-old whose ordeal may have been written by George R.R. Martin. Catch up on the whole back story from last week’s post.

A charge that may yield a 2-year prison sentence is not enough for the abhorrent couple standing trial for abusing this two-year-old boy, police say. The case has been moved from the Magistrate’s Court in the Ashanti region, where the maximum sentence would have been two years, to the Circuit court where prosecutors will be pushing for at least 10 years for the couple -Nana Oti and Rita Oti – if they are found guilty. 87216022.295

The couple has been charged with a 1st-degree felony after severe abusive treatment of the child that left him without fingers on his left hand. Doctors say the fingers had to be removed to save the boy’s hand. The suspects allegedly burnt the victim’s fingers with a hot iron during many months of abuse. “The child has skin marks all over his body, but that perhaps is the least of his worries. His right hand, from the wrist to the fingers, is covered with a sore apparently from a burn that looks deteriorating”.

The suspects were acting as guardians for the little boy while his father is away in Nigeria. They were arraigned in a Magistrate’s court on Tuesday but the trial took a dramatic turn when the couple were discharged after police withdrew all charges. Sagaa! It appeared to be a strategic move as the police re-arrested them immediately after they were discharged. The circuit court and hopefully a ten year prison term await. I’ll be sleeping better knowing the horrid couple face 10 years. He is a two year old kid, just spare the rod for God’s sake (read more on spare the rod here).

Some more spare the rod here. The kids are still taking L’s. A 32-year old father burned nine of his son’s fingers on a gas burner. He will be getting a 24 month jail term with hard labor for his stellar parenting skills. Isaac Bortier, charged with causing unlawful harm, pleaded guilty and prayed the court for leniency. I wonder if someone else could have done with some leniency – say his kid.

Bortier is said to blown over to the unreasonable spectrum after his victim got into a fight with his little brother over some biscuits he had bought them. Brothers fight man. That’s literally one of the few guarantees in life along with death and taxes. Even my mom didn’t whoop my bum when I fought with my younger brother. If you knew my mum as the domestic predator she was you would know that was a big deal. The main question here however is why Bortier only burnt nine fingers leaving one unscathed. That may be his weird way of saying I love you son.

Bortier, in love, dragged his seven year old boy to the gas burner where his wife (of a second marriage) was cooking and pressed the tiny fingers to the fire leading to severe burns. Bortier kept the incident secret like any loving father would and tenderly nursed his boy’s injuries in the confines of his home. Girls be snitching though. A nine year old girl in the community went straight to the victim’s biological mother informed this father. The ex-wife scored major custody points by involving DOVSU setting in motion events that see our loving father behind bars.

I suppose all these burns and cuts on little kids are symptoms of lazy parenting. The men are too lazy to take off their belts and apply a few licks so how about the easier alternative – sticking hands into already burning fire.

Now that we’ve got the pesky indolent kids out of the way, let’s talk about some more important crimes. Police in Kumasi arrested a 30-year-old bar man for selling toffees made from weed and before you ask – no – I don’t know if Kwaw Kese was an investor in this venture.

Kofi Adu, popularly known as “Odi Sika”, was arrested at Ahensan, a suburb of Kumasi. He was caught red handed manufacturing his weed sweets. “Our intelligence hinted us that he was selling toffees made of a substance suspected to be cannabis so personnel of the drug enforcement unit went there and arrested him in the act,” police noted. A search conducted in his bar revealed 188 pellets of the toffees on sale to “unsuspecting customers”.1

Why waste precious weed on people who do not want it? I don’t buy this. I feel like the police and reporters are missing something. Maybe this was all some item 13 for a local get together of weed aficionados. Nobody wastes precious weed on “unsuspecting customers” as the news report puts it. On a side note we should commend his entrepreneurial spirit.

How many of you missed the weeks of violent acid attacks? I know, me too. This week a man took his break up a little too hard and went straight for the Esther Pekyi playbook (did they catch her?) – He doused his ex-girl in acid. The suspect, Nicholas Baah is said to have committed the odious crime after the lady, Mavis Simpson, dumped him.

Poor Mavis is on admission at Korle Bu with severe burns after she was drenched in the sulphuric acid. Apparently Mavis ended the relationship after she discovered Nicholas had lied about his profession. She was looking for an officer and a gentleman. “The suspect told Mavis he was a soldier but after some investigations, Mavis discovered he was a scrap dealer so she decided to end the relationship after Nicholas told her the truth” LOL, women be knowing. Don’t lie to them.

Feeling peeved, the suspect decided to pour acid on her face to ruin her for the other men in the area, disfiguring her. Petty – pitilessly petty. Nicholas Baah is currently in police custody pending investigations.

We have an uncanny one here: The Ashanti Regional Police Command has apprehended an auto mechanic apprentice for robbing bread vendors of GH¢1,300.00 and (bizarrely) sachets of margarine. And oh the perp, Simeon Boahene, was also using a replica gun for his robberies.

On the dawn of September 29, the bread sellers were on foot to a bakery to buy bread for sale. It started to rain so they took shelter in front of a store en route. Boahene also appeared and took shelter in front of another store close to the women. Boahene soon made his move. In the most cinematic of moments, he moved through the pouring rain towards the women, via a weird detour though a urinal, pointing the replica gun and ordering them to surrender their money. Boahene made away with GH¢1,300.00 and, again weirdly, their sachets of margarine. Mind you a great score for a day’s work but if you are suspecting this perp isn’t too clever, you are right.

The next day Boahene went to town to sell the sachets of margarine to an Adwoa Motoo. As fate would have it, Adwoa was one of his victims. She recognized her dear margarine sachets, sachets Boahene’s greedy ass should have left behind. She collected the margarine and told Boahene to return for the money later in the day. Adwoa made a bee line straight to the police who laid ambush for Boahene’s return. Boahene returned for his money and walked right into the ambush. He was busted.

What is the morale of ths story, don’t feel the need to include packets of margarine after a GH¢1,300.00 score. The money is almost always enough. Worst case you can just buy your own margarine.

This week’s post ends with some grisly stuff – for the guys at least. The manager of a public toilet isn’t the most glamorous of jobs but it is an honest living. This manager, Azure Dok, could have turned to crime or politics but no. He chose to remain honorable. Azure was only following protocol one day by trying to enforce the law of public toilet decorum. This course of action means the honorable Azure may wake up every day, for the rest of his life, without a penis.

Azure, 27, had his penis partially severed off because he didn’t like yung’uns using the toilet facility for free. These young men always made it a point to use the facility without paying the approved fee. He decided to stamp his authority and confronted one of the boys who had dashed in for a poo without paying. There was a heated argument and, like Marlo and that security guard in The Wire, this was not going to end well for one party.

Later that evening when Azure was taking his bath, seven reprobate “angry-looking boys” (the poo-lifter included) jumped Azure and brutalized him. They crowned the assault by taking knife to penis leaving Azure in a critical condition. Residents heard the cries from Azure but the grisly damage had already been done. Scary stuff. I expect women to cut off a man’s penis in a fit of violent pettiness but come on guys, there are some things you just don’t do to your fellow man. A special place in hell may await.

Crime of the week definitely goes to the dumb margarine crook. Have a nice week y’all and spare the rod if you can.

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