Unlike other days where my write-ups have mostly concentrated on students’ politics, today, I may not have any eatable gift for you as we celebrate the birth of Christ but I hope and pray you will appreciate how I will be awakening the consciousness of many bachelor–especially the youth in Ghana–about relationship, as a little token from me to them.
The Gents will be pissed because I will be revealing some secrets of men whiles some ladies may break up with their boyfriends. However, I’m motivated not to be cowed because I believe in the adage that “when the truth doesn’t suit you, you call it an insult”. Having ardently studied some crazy womanizing friends I have, I write this piece not to be harsh, sound judgmental or claim to be holy but to candidly share my opinion on what I feel many youth of today should know before marrying.
Last trimester, during one of our usual lectures, I was in a state of dilemma because of a statement echoed by a course facilitator. The lecturer said and I quote “you are now level four hundred(400) students and if you are a lady who isn’t in a serious relationship at this level, then ask yourself some questions”. Furtherance to this statement, I wasn’t so satisfied with most of the answers I had from my Facebook friends after I shared my sentiment on that and asked for theirs. I argued that, “in as much as I agree to some extent with the lawyer(the lecturer), I think he shouldn’t have limited it to the ladies alone. But I was surprised to see most of the ladies laughing with reasons that they are dating and ain’t victims of the lecturer’s statement. I wished someone had told many of them to stop tickling themselves. Hello?!! “Not every paint be paint ooo”. There are many of these ladies who are just dating with little or no knowledge about where that relationship is headed. Many of them are dating some men who may be older or at par with their grandfathers or their fathers yet they consoled themselves that they are into relationships and didn’t see the need to ask themselves questions as suggested by the lecturer. Many of them are baits for some dudes who scam white men for money. Your boyfriend asks you to expose your body to a white man and you foolishly obey just because you love him and his money. You need a relationship; but you need a good one. I had an encounter with a lady who told me she wouldn’t date because she has seen someone’s social media profile picture which reads that “seek first the certificate and all other things shall be added”. Guess what I told her. If that thing is true, then never eat because after the certificate, you will get work and get money to eat. Then never socialize with friends or never involve yourself in any extra curriculum activity. And I lastly scolded her and told her not to attend church or mosque if education is only to seek after certificates. Maybe I don’t need to remind you of the numerous ladies who go to church just to pray for husbands. These ladies probably rejected every man that came their way just because of “seek first certificate”. Most men would want to marry a lady who started with them, even when they were students and had no money. It becomes difficult for a lady to get a husband to marry after school.
I am a youth and almost all my male friends are in their youthful age. When we meet to chat, we mostly talk about relationship. Ooo Yes! Guys talk about almost everything. We talk about Sports, Academics, Entertainment, Success and of course we talk about ladies. I have realized we all have different opinions about relationship at this stage when most of us are not even married or dating. To some, love is blind and to other love is sex. To my friends who are married or who have ever married, most of them show a sign of “regret” in their marriage. To some of the married people I seek advice from, they wish they were not married to the person they are currently married to. Dear bachelor, that doesn’t mean you should tirelessly worry yourself searching for a perfectly perfect partner for such partners don’t exist. Misunderstandings are normal in relationships and even our Pastors or Imams will tell you the same thing.
If you speak with the gentlemen who change ladies like how they change their boxers ( underwear), they are likely to tell you that, they do that because ladies are not to be trusted. They are likely to tell you that, ladies only accept your proposal because of your money. They are likely to tell you that, someone is also banging(sleeping with) their future wife. These have also given most of the ladies reason to have the perception that “all men are cheats”. Eeeiii my dear, stop that HASTY GENERALIZATION. After you gave your heart to a young man who doesn’t even care about himself, you have the guts to generalize that all guys are the same? After you allowed yourself to be fooled by a guy who has no plans of his future and not to talk about your own, you now want the whole world to pamper you because you have a broken heart? Left to me alone, you should cry your whole heart out so you will think well next time when going into a relationship.
It is so irking when people ask you how will they know this is the right guy? Don’t expect a right guy to approach you when you dress like the ladies at “Ghana Dubai”(Circle) who tax men for sleeping with them. Don’t expect a good guy to approach you when you have not stopped that bad behavior. That alcohol drinking, smoking, too much clubbing( note the word “too much”) must be a thing of the past. Yes, although to every type of girl, there is a type of a boy who can handle her and I agree to the saying that, “there is someone somewhere who will love you for who you are”. But every man will respect a woman who respects herself oo. You reject a guy who is poor now but has a bright future and you expect to have a successful relationship with the guy who has everything in his room but goes about chasing every thing in skirt?
Dear sexy pink bikini lady, the young boy you are practicing “cohabitation” or shack up with is likely not to marry you because he has seen enough of you and he is fed up with the styles you have been giving him in bed, of which your parents don’t even know some of those styles. If you are doing the right thing as a youth, why then do you hide from your parents. I visited a friend who lives in the same room as his girlfriend. They both had deceived me that they were cousins and that my male friend is yet to rent a hostel so until he finds one, he is lodging in his supposed ‘female cousin’s’ room. Apparently, the lady advised my male friend to use his hostel fee to buy a motor bike. After buying the Motor Bike, he then joined the lady in her room and that is how come they are practicing cohabitation. Don’t you think if their conviction tells them what they are doing is right, they wouldn’t tell me lies that they are cousins. The most surprising thing is, the lady can quote almost every verse in the Holy Bible and rumors also have it that, the guy uses that Motor Bike to pick his other inamorata(s) whiles watching the girlfriend(who cohabits with him) galavant from her hostel to lecture hall. I ask myself, is this Witchcraft, Stupidity or love on the part of the lady?
Lest I forget, youth of today should stop confusing themselves with lust, love, dating and marriage. If you are not married, don’t do marriageable things with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Dating isn’t bad, but doing the “DON’TS” in dating is bad. That man, who gives you drugs after sex wouldn’t be advising his sister to take those drugs because of it’s effects or implications it brings. Love isn’t what he is doing to you. Kindly advice yourself and flee from sin. You are beautiful and has a long way to go in life. Don’t let any useless person jeopardize your future for it will be too late to say “had I known” because it will be at last to blame your great grand parents. Don’t worry about the past, focus on making the future a successful one. Don’t punish an innocent person because of what the diabolical loser you call “Ex” did to you. Aaa well, maybe you are twisting those red lips of yours in camera on social media with the hope of getting a malafaka award in this malafaka society but remember, how you dress is how you are addressed. I was about ending my provocative article until I overheard someone saying you can’t control your heart over whom to love. Really ? Your heart is controlled by what you feed it. For instance, a play boy has been dressing nicely, persisting and tormenting you with so called love. You replied him with your usual “I’m not ready” or “not interested”. He never gave up and now kneels before you and pretends to cry as if you are the only girl in the world who he wants to die with. Because of his usual guy smartness, you begin to feel pity for him and starts thinking about whether or not to accept him. Don’t you think you are feeding your heart by thinking about him? After you’ve fed your heart with information about him, shouldn’t your heart fall in love with him? And after all these, you think your heart is an automobile to control itself? Remember, love is not sex and sex is not love. Love is not how your boyfriend uses you as a boxing bout nor how your girlfriend spend your money and send you on unnecessary errands.
Most of the youth who tell you they love you never know what even love is. Love is kind. Love never keeps malice in heart but love is forgiveness.
It’s all about strategy, no opportunity is too small to strike. Never underrate your opponent. As far as you win, it’s never dirty. That is what politics is all about. Nana Kalyppo defeated Mahama paper by winning the election ‘one touch’. Woaw, was I dreaming, I promised not to be political today.
Oooops, wait a second, It’s even a new day and I have to go and brush my teeth; but let me leave you with this: when many people are thinking of getting rich partners, think of developing yourself into a rich person for the right person to find you. Have a nice day dear and be good because I love you.
Domfeh Emmanuel(Sir Noble)
I am an agent of positive change.