HOW CAN WE LIVE IN PEACE WITH FRIENDS OR ROOMIES?

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The law superlatively states, “All humans are by nature equal” but technically, that’s awkward and I repeat “awkward”. You are the type who really cannot do without football games but your room mate would rather listen to music. You, again, like strong perfumes and sweet scented cosmetics but she does not like scented products; perhaps she’s asthmatic. So the question is, how can you live in harmony with people from diverse backgrounds and with different abilities, desires and ideologies? You must note that, although we can “never” be comparably the same in human society, we however can live together as one people through personal conviction and compromise.

Learn not to retaliate. It is uncommon for one to argue with himself and it’s also impossible and irrational for one to engage in self-revenge, trust me. Arguments generate between two or more people but when we listen more and speak less, a heated and grave argument is likely to calm down. One may assume he is being foolish when he remains silent but I tell you it’s a matter of being tolerant, respectful and wise not stupid. To resist from argument and remain silent is far better an option than to retaliate and be provoked. Ensuring peace with your friend, colleague or lecturer is much more important than proving your points and winning arguments that do not pay. “Let your power to love others overcome your love to overpower others”

Acknowledge others’ feelings. As students, we are fond of using appellations and calling people all sorts of names, both negative and positive. Even when people feel bad about it, we sometimes do not care but rather keep horning it the more because “its normal”. People sometimes feel upset when they are called certain names or teased in public. It hurts and makes them feel so bad which can result to serious issues such as fights, breakdown of friendship and even to the extreme – suicide. Oh yeah, knife is very common these days, the bread knife even does it faster..lol. But teasing can be very painful and should not be encouraged when anger is cooking in the core of the heart of others. Learn to respect others’ feelings and “do to others what you would want others to do unto you”. Be a consoler to make someone smile but not to make them feel depressed.

When anger bubbles in your heart, avoid too much talk. Keep your tone as low as you can and desist from the very thing that caused the anger and bet me, you will soon calm down. Do not defend yourself even if you are not at fault and be ready to say “sorry” for just feeling irritated. By so doing, you are being kind but not timid as people assume. If your ‘opponent’ continues to fire at you after you stop talking, give him some time to calm down or, if possible, leave the room, take a short walk around and come back. This does not imply you are being disrespectful or careless. It’s a good therapy for anger.

After realizing personal differences, have a positive view of one another. Humility is the key drive to maintaining peaceful coexistence with others. When someone offends you and asks for your forgiveness, be quick to forgive. It is better to win the heart of a friend than feeling pompous and losing him or her.

Remember!

“To surrender is not giving up the struggle but finding peace within the struggle”

“Be selective in your battles, sometimes peace is better an option than being right”

By: Aheto Mathias
(ahetomathias@gmail.com)

UNDERGRADFILE

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