CRIME HACKS

With crime from GH returns in its mordant splendor after a week off. Clergy corner leads the way in this juicy post and kids are still getting raped per usual but then the now weekly child physical abuse is giving the pedophiles a run for their money. I can understand police brutalizing innocent protestors and gouging out eyes but should a little boy lose his hand for being – well – a little boy? This week’s post also comes with some murder and a mob lynching so try and have a good time.

d4fb40db5eb9be0adc29f9789fe9ae41_LFirst up, a Roman Catholic priest with the Spiritan University College at Ejisu committed suicide on Tuesday. So that’s one less person in heaven unfortunately. The Rev Fr. Thomas Schwiedessen was found hanging on a tree at the Spiritual Renewal Centre of the Kumasi Archdiocese of the Catholic Church where he was reportedly going through counselling. Schwiedessen, a German national, was scheduled for a trip back to Germany for medical check-up on the day he was found dead.

When the police got to the scene, the white male wearing a white shirt with a pair of black trousers was seen hanging from the tree with a bed sheet around his neck. The authorities at the Spiritan University are tight-lipped about the issue and would not want to comment on it however, information gathered by the Graphic indicated that on September 26, the deceased was behaving “strangely” and was sent to the centre to undergo counselling. He was referred to a shrink at the KATH who attended to him and rescheduled him for a review on October 7th. Well at least someone gets a day off – silver lining peoples, silver linings.


 

Let’s get some pedophile news out of the way; a man will be doing time, 20 years, for raping a six year old. Kwesi Asiamah, 27 was found guilty on the charge of defilement and thankfully the courts brought down the hammer. Asiamah reportedly raped a minor two years ago but the case was thrown out after the complainant and victim in the case failed to turn up in court.

Now when something as fortunate as this happens, you thank your stars and vow to stop raping kids. Well this man did not learn. I guess Louis C.K. is right, there must be heavenly bliss found in the vaginas of toddlers. The “regular” folk like us who fancy thick grown women must be missing out. Why else would this man wade in the murky pedophilic waters?

On July 23, at about 1600 hours, Asiamah met his victim returning from school on a bush path. He called her over with the pretext of escorting her home safely to her parents like a standup guy. On their way home however, Asiamah grabbed and pulled the victim into a palm plantation and then raped her – not the escort she expected I imagine. The girl screamed out attracting a passer-by who got to the scene and shouted for help. A bit of a sissy move if you ask me. If you see a toddler getting raped you act damn it, not scream. When Asiamah heard the shouts from the passer-by, he took to his heels but was later caught and arrested with the help of some town folk.

Asiamah was subsequently transferred to the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit. In his caution statement, Asiamah denied the charges like the scum he was. He couldn’t keep his penis out of forbidden waters so now he misses 3 world cups – well there’s Qatar so 2 world cups.


Now the solemn cap comes on as a horrid spare the rod story plays out. A two-year-old boy in Kumasi is risks losing his right hand after his guardians viciously burned his fingers after the reported war crime of eating at a neighbor’s house. The victim, Samuel Kwarteng had his hand burnt with a searing electric iron buy his guardian couple.

The story: Samuel’s biological father took custody of him from his teenage mother but like a proper black father he didn’t stick around for long. This dad left his kid with guardians, Nana and Rita Oti, before leaving on a trip to Naija land. There is no news on the father so I assume he is still enjoying the Naija indepence day parties but his kid can be found with cane marks all over which, let’s be honest, is normal. The average 2 year old kid deserves his fair share of severe beatings on a daily basis. The line was crossed when eyes fall on young Samuel’s right hand. His right hand, from the wrist to the fingers, was gashed and sored up from the iron burns.

The suspects, Nana and Rita during police interrogations said the kid accidentally dipped his hand in boiling hot water and almost simultaneously a BS meter went off the charts – odd coincidence. Sources in the North Suntreso community of Kumasi revealed that the couple had been hiding the wound by wrapping it with rags to divert public attention instead of seeking medical care. They alleged that Nana and Rita confined the child and subjected him to severe beating whenever he pooped himself or ate at a neighbor’s house. One resident also claimed the couple had branded the male baby as a witch – bruh! This concerned resident also noted that even the teenage mother of the boy was denied access to him. Well a concerned resident should have called in the police *sip*.

The suspects were arrested last week but granted bail by police. Officials at the police station will give no details except to say the case is under investigation. The young mother told Luv News attempts to retrieve her baby from the couple had proven futile. “I have been banned from visiting my son because they claim I can’t look after him” she bemoaned. Let’s not forget the real victim here though. Doctors at the Komfo Anokye Hospital say they will have to clip all the kid’s dead fingers to enable them perform plastic surgery to save the rest of the right arm.

I want to pretend I don’t understand this brutality but I know people. We are not above taking the cute fingers of a toddler and burning them up in the name of petty BS. The CIA even frowns on this. Spare a thought for the poor kid. Feel free to curse the horrid guardians though. They should be locked up in a hot dark place.


 

Let’s do something a little upbeat. Some more clergy corner. A 35-year-old prophet has been sentenced to 25 years in jail for raping 3 boys. A massive role reversal this week. You would think the white catholic priest would be sodomizing and black prophet hanging himself. Wonders, they say. Propeht Benjamin Manso sodomized three boys aged 15, 12, and 10, under the guise of healing them from a peculiar ailment for which they had been admitted at his house.

He pleaded guilty to three counts of defilement like the good Christian he was and was sentenced on his own plea to 25 years imprisonment on each count to run concurrently. Prior to the Judgment, Prophet Manso blamed the devil for his actions and remorsefully pleaded with the Court for leniency. Now if he had raped just one kid I would have been campaigning to have him freed. If he had raped two a prison sentence would have been harsh but raping three kids sees him cross the line. Do the damn time.


 

So next up, a pedophile was lynched – on cold day in hell. If anyone is getting lynched it’s a thief as we all know. But for the timely intervention of the Police, a 24-year-old suspected robber would have been fully lynched by an angry mob at Lebanon, a suburb of Ashaiman. The suspect, Ishmael Nartey, together with his accomplice (who managed to escape) were said to have stabbed Salomey Adu, a 19-year-old girl in a robbery attempt. 90323798.295

The robbers stabbed the girl on the left shoulder and asked her to shush when they entered her house under the pretext of being thirsty and needing some water. As it turns out these guys didn’t have enough balls. The girl started to scream despite threats and the mob beckoned. They started to run and at this point Ishmeal had just one job, be faster than his mate. He failed. Let me give y’all this life hack. If you do turn to mugging, always make sure you are faster than your partner – literally difference between life and death.

The angry mob descended with the Old Testament on Ishmeal beat the crap out of him till the popo came. The suspect was severely beaten and left unconscious before police arrived at the scene. They quickly sent him to the Ashaiman Polyclinic for treatment. The girl is doing fine and good on her for being brave.


 

Not everybody escaped death this week, a 15-year-old bar attendant (really?) has been murdered in cold blood during a fight over a girl at Wenchi in the Brong Ahafo region. Sampson Aboagye was stabbed in the back three times after he was accused of flirting with the 14-year-old girl. A straight up ni99er moment. Even Jesus doesn’t expect us to die for good people so no, this girl was not worth a scratch for a 15-year-old especially.

The suspect, Kwame Tusa, is said to be the jealous boyfriend of the teenage girl and he didn’t take nicely to Sampson chatting up his girl so blood had to be shed. The 14-year-old girl was just a friend of Sampson Aboagye and they lived in the same house. Sampson was rushed to the Wenchi Methodist hospital but passed on Tuesday morning. The police have mounted a man-hunt for Kwame Tusa who is currently at large.

Story of the week goes to the poor and slow Ishmeal who is very lucky to be alive. Remember the life hack – always be faster than your crime partner. Go for a fatty if possible.

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